A “Too long for Twitter” post

It’s like people stopped caring but care that others should care about them.

And right now, in this moment I’m all “I don’t care, I need to be selfish now and process my thoughts, I’m sure others would understand” but there’s this tiny bit in your brain that is squeezing itself in that train of thought , telling you that they won’t understand and they might not necessarily forgive you because all they would see is that you don’t care enough about them and so they should do the same a put you aside, they won’t understand that you’re trying to understand YOURSELF.
They won’t understand that you need to be selfish at that moment that happens to be when they need you to proof your existence in their world.

If you yourself can’t figure out what’s going on with you, then how would others get it?

You hope they would, but I’m thinking they won’t.

What sucks the most is that an explanation is expected, people expect an explanation when something doesn’t go the way it should have (in their mind at least).
When someone doesn’t show up, when someone doesn’t interact.
But then why should I explain myself?
I should maintain my right to not have to explain an inner conflict and not wanting to interact with humans, shouldn’t I?

You from your eyes expect to not owe an explanation, while they see that an explanation is their right.

It all comes down to this.
People won’t get you, you wont get others and others wont get others; none of us is a mind-reader and predictions are based on personal thoughts not thoughts based on understanding/knowing the thoughts of that other person.

P.S. This is not an issue I’m facing in a “romantic” relationship.

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I’m sorry old lady.

I got out from the bus and started walking towards home, the parked cars and buildings on my left and the moving nile and cars on my right. I was staring into space as usual not paying much attention to the people passing by  when suddenly I heard, “Ya 7abebty! Ya 7abebty!”
I stopped with a bit of hesitation and took a couple of steps backward to see who was calling. It was an old lady in a parked car sitting in the passenger seat. 

“Could you please roll up the window for me?”

It was the window at the driver’s side she was talking about. I looked at the window then looked around me. She noticed my hesitation and started speaking again.

“I’m really sorry but my back hurts and I can’t bend over to close it.”

I was still panicking, I stretched my hand and started rolling up the window.
She spoke again and she was laughing this time.

“You’re gonna get you arm stuck like this, you should open the door and close the window.”

I then noticed that she was right, I wasn’t paying attention on how should I close the window, who needs to pay attention on how he closes a window? It’s an action that we do without thinking but this time my mind was elsewhere I was observing the people passing by I was cautious that no one would push me into the car and kidnap me! That the old lady wouldn’t kidnap me! That doesn’t even  sound right. How could this sweet lady be a part of anything like that? She only wanted to close the window so she could turn the AC on. No one would blame her for that in this weather. 
I opened the door with a nervous smile and started rolling up the window
She thanked me, I closed the door and moved along.

I was scared of closing the window for an old lady.
What has society done to me, to us?  

Aside

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